Bay Area Shook with a 4.0 Magnitude Earthquake

The entire Bay Area shook with a 4.0 magnitude earthquake, Bay Area parents now pressuring local tectonic plates to take more AP classes and bring it up closer to 5.0 or they will never land a good job.

J.C. Penney Bankruptcy

How close is JC Penney to bankruptcy? Let’s just say the only cash they have left comes after JC.

Anna Kendrick is Disappointed

Anna Kendrick voiced her disappointment in Mae Whitman’s dismissal from Indepence Day 2 with a moving rendition using nothing but cups, spoons, and her pitch perfect vocals.

Millennials are Choosing to be Childless

A study shows that Millennials are choosing not to have children of their own, but instead rent children from strangers using Uber.

A man admitted to murdering Jeffrey Dahmer because of Dahmer’s “creepy sense of humor.” Hey, boning and eating a corpse is one thing, but keep that Anthony Jeselnik bit to yourself.

ABC’s Revenge was Cancelled

ABC’s Revenge was cancelled after 5 seasons after finally killing the last thing left on Amanda Clark’s list… ratings.

Hillary Clinton Wants all Police to Wear Body Cameras

Hillary Clinton wants all police to wear body cameras… and nothing else.

Krispy Kreme wants to Give you a Dozen Free Donuts Today

Krispy Kreme wants to give you a dozen free donuts today, coincidentally this falls on Willie Nelson’s birthday. #seriously 

Michelle Keegan has been named the World’s Sexiest Woman

Though no one has seen her in person, Michelle Keegan has been named the World’s Sexiest Woman! Also shocking the internet is the world’s sexiest man, Tyler Durden.

Las Vegas Hotels Anticipate Mayweather-Pacquiao Fight

Even low-end properties in Las Vegas are raising their rates and packages in anticipation of the Mayweather-Pacquiao fight. For an extra $10, Red Roof Inn will include pool and bathroom towels. Not to be outdone, for an extra $10, Howard Johnson will provide sandals to wear in the shower and spray your blood-stained bedspread with febreze.