Microsoft's New Browser

Engineers at Microsoft report that the Windows 10 browser, Edge, is now able to download Chrome and Firefox up to three times faster as the antiquated Internet Explorer.

Mobile TV Service "U-Verse" to be packaged with At&t and the Windows 7 Phone

By combining Windows 7, U-verse, and At&t’s legendary signal quality you can now: drop calls, not get emails,  and partially enjoy your favorite episodes of glee.

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Microsoft is Announcing

Microsoft plans to officially announce Windows Phone 7 devices on October 11...then officially wait to see if Steve Jobs notices. 


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New Ipods from Apple

Apple announces an all new ipod line up, and not to outdone Microsoft also announces that Apple has an all new ipod line up.


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Russian Spy Worked for Microsoft

It turns out that one of the Russian spies worked for Microsoft, which explains why the Windows paper clip was always suggesting I share nuclear secrets before I shut down. 

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NEW XBOX

A new quieter/thinner xbox announced, positioning game systems to completely replace women as perfect male companions by 2016.

New xbox video game technology referred to as "Project Natal" has changed name to "Kinect." Which will be pronounced "stupid nintendo thing" by girfriends everywhere.

Apple to use Microsoft search engine

Apple is launching Safari 5 with a default Microsoft Bing search feature. Also, cat moves in with dog and pirates and ninjas have teamed together. 

Microsoft Vs. Apple

Microsoft announces that a tablet is a PC in a different shape. Just like a zune is an ipod that doesn't work. 


- water cooler jokes

Google Bans Windows

Google bans Windows because of security issues. Unfortunately, due to internal miscommunication several Google offices have now blocked out all sources of natural light.

Apple is now world's biggest tech company essentially the New Microsoft, in response to that title Steve Jobs promises "more crashing, more spreadsheets, and printers that can't connect to your computer."