US beats Algeria

The United States moved on to the next round of the World Cup on Wednesday after Google searches for "Algeria" increased by 10,000%.


-Water Cooler Jokes

USA beat Algeria 1-0 during the final stoppage time of the game. Consequently, US Forces have begun moving back from the Algerian border. 

BP under pressure

Feds put more pressure on BP telling them to drill 2 relief wells, BP repsonds by going sailing.

Richard Snelsire Hunts Bin Laden on His Own

Man hunting Bin Laden claims he was on a mission from God. Solidifying that God mixed up divine messages, the U.S. military recieves heavenly instruction to find a job and move out of mother's basement.

Afghanistan is now America's longest running war.  Israel responds to that news with "Oh isn't that cute."


- water cooler jokes

Afghanistan wins for longest US war

The war in Afghanistan was just announced as America's longest war, because the war on drugs doesn't count.